Random Events From The Shaman King Dub
by Eliv
Summary: These are NOT the real dubs. They’re just random ideas that some of my friends and I made up to make fun of the dub version. New Humorous Twists! R
1. Ren's Shorts

Random Events From the Shaman King Dub 

Chapter 1

By: Eliv

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Shaman King 

**Please Read: **These are NOT the real dubs. They're just random ideas that some of my friends and I made up to make fun of the dub version. ^_^ Throw tomatoes at 4Kids!! I will try my best to mention what episode these random 'dubs' came from. Oh, and I will use their REAL names. Not the stinky ones that 4Kids came up with! LOL. Now, on with the story!!!

Episode 3 

Another Shaman

*Yoh and Ren's first talk with one another as they are crossing the street*

Manta: That's him! That's Tao Ren!

Yoh: Really? What's with his shorts? AAAAAHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!! THEY'RE SEEING SOMETHING THAT THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING!!

Amidamaru: *covers Yoh's eyes with his hands* NOOO!! YOH-DONO'S VIRGIN EYES!!!

Yoh: AMIDAMARU! YOU'RE HANDS ARE SEE-THROUGH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*light turns green and people cross*

Yoh: *walking like a duck with Amidamaru covering his eyes* 

Manta: *to Yoh* Stop that! You look like you're drunk!

Ren: You're Yoh right?

Yoh: ……

Ren: What are you – AHHHHHH!!! MY SHORTS MUST HAVE SHRUNK IN THE WASH! *desperately trying to pull down his shorts so they don't look quite as short*

Manta: He doesn't seem so evil now…

Person: Hey you two! Walk!! You're blocking traffic!

Another Person: What's with his shorts?

Another, Another Person: Look at his hair! He looks like he was attacked with a lawnmower or something.

Person: Well there were various reports that a mutated lawnmower was attacking the region…

Another Person: Really? I have a lawnmower at home… what if it tries to eat me when I'm sleeping?

Ren: What did they say about my hair????

Yoh: It is kinda bad. For a minute there, I thought you were a shark. 

Amidamaru: A shark on land?

Yoh: Yah! He could have been a new 'smart' shark. You know, like the kind on the coffee mugs, with the beach shorts and glasses.

Ren: Are you saying that sharks are stupid?

Manta: Well, they're not the smartest creatures in the world. Dolphins on the other hand are much smarter…

Yoh: See.

Ren: You said you thought I was a shark… now you're saying that sharks are stupid… ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID???

Yoh: Well… you might be for all I know.

Ren: What???

Yoh: Yah. You could have escaped from a mental hospital or something and now you're attacking innocent people and taking big spears out of your pants and stuff like that. 

Ren: I don't take spears out of my pants!

Amidamaru: Let's rewind the tape! *rewinds* There! When you cut the truck in half. 

Manta: It does look like you took it out of your pants.

Ren: I DIDN'T TAKE IT OUT OF MY PANTS!!!

Yoh: Then where did you take it out of?

Ren: A… suitcase!!!

Manta: You didn't have a suitcase!

Amidamaru: What's your excuse now??

Ren: It's just the… angle! Yah the angle is bad!

Manta: *takes out his laptop* Well, we can download the episode off the internet and then I'll adjust the angle using my computer! *does all that* See, there was no suitcase. 

Yoh: Adjust it so we can see if he takes it out of his pants.

Manta: Sure.

Amidamaru: Wow… moving pictures!

Ren: *mumbling to himself* 

Yoh/Manta/Amidamaru: YOU DID TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!

Ren: I DID NOT!!!

People: *watching the episode* Blah, blah… spears… out of pants…weirdo… police… nut-house… straight-jacket… 

Ren: GAAAAA!! THAT'S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SHAMAN FIGHT!

People: A salmon fight? Are they going to fight with salmon?

Ren: Meet me in the graveyard.

People: That's an interesting place for a salmon fight… 

*later when Yoh goes to fight Ren for the first time*

Yoh: I thought this was a party…

Ren: It is! It's your funeral!

Yoh: *shocked* Really?? I didn't bring any of my family members!!!

Ren: That's okay. I'll send your remains to them.

Yoh: But what if they get lost in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ren: I'll get them insured then.

Yoh: For how much?

Ren: Uh… 

Yoh: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOUR SHORTS!!! YOU DIDN'T CHANGE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!

Ren: What? *looks down* NANI!!??? DID ALL OF THEM SHRINK???!!!

Manta: *to himself* I bet he didn't even change them. 

People: *carrying torches and salmon* WE'RE HERE FOR THE SALMON FIGHT!!!!

Amidamaru: Yoh-dono! It's the attack of the rabid people with mutated salmon!!!

Ren: I can take care of them! *takes out his spear*

Yoh: YOU TOOK IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS!!!!!!

Ren: Uh… *waves his hands in front of Yoh* It was an illusion! An illusion!!

Yoh: @_@ I'm dizzy…

People: We thought this was a SALMON fight. You have a SPEAR that is NOT a SALMON. *tosses Ren a salmon* There. Now we can fight.

Ren: *catches salmon* Uh…

People: ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

Ren: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yoh: *watching the angry mob chasing Ren around with the salmon* I didn't think he could run that fast.

Manta: …

Amidamaru: *in cheerleading uniform* LET'S GO SALMON LET'S GO!! LET'S GO SALMON LET'S GO!!

That was the first chapter… but since I'm so nice, the second chapter is about Lyserg joining the X-Laws. This will be fun *evil grin* Please Review! 


	2. Lyserg Joins the XLaws and other XLaws f...

Random Events from the Shaman King Dub

Chapter Two

Lyserg Joins the X-Laws and other X-Laws Fantasies

By: Eliv

Since the dub version of Shaman King made Ren a Chinese person with a British accent and Ryu an Italian person, this Random Event will have Marco as a Jamaican person and Lyserg as a Scottish person. Please don't flame me for this. It has a great impact on the plot. Thank You and Please Enjoy! ^_^

Marco: *to Lyserg* Oh! You wanna join the X-Laws man!

Lyserg: Aye! See me bagpipe? *points to bagpipe* MORPHIN IN BAGPIPE! OVERSOUL!!!!!!!!! *plays bagpipe like a pro*

Marco: That be nice man… but dreadlocks are required man! *points to his hair* 

(A/N: Marco with dreadlocks??? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!)

Lyserg: *plays a note flat* WHAT????!!!!!!!!!

Marco: That be an easy solution man! We just go to me hairstylist!

Lyserg: But… but… IT WON'T MATCH MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!! T_T

Marco: Nonsense man! *takes Lyserg to his hairstylist*

*later*

Lyserg: …

Marco: Wow! You look good man!

Dog walking down the street: *pees on himself*

Old Lady: *have heart attack*

Gay person: *becomes straight*

Lyserg: Yah right…

Marco: Now you may join the X-Laws man!!!!

Lyserg: ^_^ Did ye 'ear that Morphin?

Morphin: ^_^

Marco: Let's go to headquarters man!!

Kana: Hanagumi attack!!!!!!!

Matti: Ikuyou! Jack!!!!

Mari: Mari… feels like killing…

Lyserg: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! A RABID PUMPKIN!!!!!

Marco: Stand back man! Wait for the orders!

*X-Laws turn to the Iron Maiden*

Jeanne: We must defend against them.

Marco: PLEASE PICK ME MAN! ME MAN!!!

Jeanne: Go Marco!

Marco: *gets down on all fours and dives at the Hanagumi* ROAR!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Jeanne: Marco! Dance!!!

Marco: *gets back on his feet and is suddenly in a pink tutu* La dee da dee da!! La la la laaaaaa!!!!! 

Kana/Mari/Matti: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OUR EYES!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE BURNING!!!!!!!!! BURNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away in fear*

Jeanne: Marco. Return.

Marco: *stops dancing and runs back to the rest of the X-Laws still in his pink tutu*

Lyserg: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ME EYES!!!!!!!

Jeanne: Marco, please change out of that tutu.

Marco: Awww… man! It makes me look slimmer man!

Jeanne: Go Lyserg.

Lyserg: *hesitantly approaches Marco*

Jeanne: Lyserg. But his X-Laws suit on him.

Lyserg: *holding suit* ………………………………..................................

Marco: I'm a pretty, pretty princess! I'm so beautifuuuuuuuuullllllllll!!!!!! … man!

Lyserg: Marco-san… please put this on…

Marco: *hisses* NEVER!!!!!!!!!

Lyserg: Please Marco-san…

Marco: *doing ballet* LA DEE DA DEE DAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Lyserg: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Jeanne-sama, do I have too?

Jeanne: Do you want to be looking at him… with a tutu for the rest of the day??

Lyserg: yah.. You got a point there.

Rest of the X-Laws: HURRY UP LYSERG!!!!!!!!!!! 

Lyserg: Uhh… me no touchy scary person. *light flashes on top of his head* WOW! WHERE DID THAT LIGHTBULB COME FROM???

Rest of X-Laws: ???

Lyserg: Me know solution! *takes a 'censored' sign from out of his pocket* *stretches it out so that it fits over Marco* There!

Everyone: Ahh…

Marco: LA DEE DA DEE DAAAAAAA~!!!!!!!

Opacho: Hao-sama. X-Laws won again.

Hao: It's that Marco! He's too strong!!!!!!!!!!!! And that Jeanne person! She's too good of a trainer!

Opacho: Marco no dance without tutu.

Hao: That's right!!!!!!!!! If we take away his tutu he can't dance and then the Hanagumi can infiltrate the X-Laws' base! Opacho, go get the tutu.

Opacho: T_T Opacho scared…

Hao: Oh okay Opacho. You can stay here with me. I'll send someone else to do it. 

Opacho: ^_^

Hao: Zinc! Go get Marco's tutu.

Zinc: Why me????????

Hao: Because I said so.

Zinc: But -

Hao: No buts or I'll feed you to my bunny!

Zinc: Your bunny?

Hao: *snaps fingers* *a small white bunny comes and sits on Hao's lap*

Zinc: *trying not to laugh* That's your bunny?

Hao: *snaps fingers again* Go Bunny!

Bunny: Z_Z

Zinc: *trying really hard not to laugh*

Hao: *evil grin* Bunny! Dinner time!!

Bunny: *opens eyes* Yummy.

Zinc: Aww. What's the wikkle bunny gonna do to big ol' Zincy? 

Bunny: Hiss.

Zinc: Aww! It's purring!!!!

Bunny: *eat Zinc* ^_^

Hao: I told him so.

Opacho: ^_^;;;

That was the end of the chappie! The End and I hope you liked it! Read and Review please!!!!!!!! 


	3. The Boy from the North

Random Events From the Shaman King Dub

Chapter 3

The Boy from the North

By: Eliv

__

So you've probably wondered what Horo Horo did on his perilous journey to Tokyo, how he managed to sell his goods and hitchhike, how he sold all those folk crafts, how he… well… all those will be revealed here in…….

The Boy from the North

Horo Horo: Don't worry! I'll be fine. You'll see! When I get to Tokyo, I'll start by planting lots and lots of beautiful flowers.

Pilica: Yeah, yeah. Don't forget you're laxatives. 

Horo Horo: *blush* Hey, don't be telling everyone that!

Pilica: Well it's not my fault that you have pooping problems!

Horo Horo: It's just that… that… my… BUTT HOLE IS TOO SMALL!!!!!!

Pilica: Yeah… I've heard that story too. "If we had enough money, I'd go to surgery and have a bigger butt hole." *rolls eyes*

(A/N: I know Pilica is kinda OOC but… yeah… No one minds do they?)

Horo Horo: Well it's not my fault that…… you're oatmeal tastes like doggie doo!

Pilica: Are you talking about my oatmeal????

Horo Horo: ^_^ ;; I'll just go now….

Pilica: You better!!

~*Later*~

Horo Horo: Now, I'll need to take my map and follow it to Tokyo. *pulls out map* Okay here it is. *puts map on the ground* ……… HEY! IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW A DEFECTED MAP??? T_T I'm lost now….

Person Driving Down the Street: ……… *sees Horo* What is he doing?

Horo Horo: *sees person* Oh! *jumps in the middle of the road* EXCUSE MEE!!!!! CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY MAP???!!! IT'S DEFECTED AND I CAN'T FOLLOW IT!!!

Person Driving Down the Street: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *swerves*

Horo Horo: *keeps jumping in front of the person's truck* I REALLY NEED HELP!! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME??!!

Person Driving Down the Street (PDDS): *still swerving* STOP JUMPING IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!

~*Still Later*~

Horo Horo: *somehow managed to get in the person's car* Can you help me now?

PDDS: WHAT THE ---- HOW DID YOU GET IN MY CAR!!!!!!!??????

Horo Horo: You see (ignoring the person) my map is broken and I can't follow it. It's pitiful really. I can't follow a defected map. Though I do wonder how all these lines got all over it. Still, it's probably the design made by the manufacturer. Did I tell you that I can't follow a defected map? It's really hard to follow a map that won't move in the right direction you want it to. There is a big star on it that says Tokyo but I think that that's just to show that this map is supposed to take you to Tokyo. Then there's all these blue and red lines which I think are supposed to be the veins of the map to show that it would take you to the place your trying to go to which in my case would be Tokyo. But I guess that I didn't feed the map it's food or something so that's why it's being defected. I didn't know that you were supposed to feed a map or else I would of found something to feed it. Well.. Maybe not me but Pilica. That's my sister. She would of found something to for it to eat. Hey do you have food? I'm hungry. Pilica told me to follow the map but she didn't say anything about feeding it. Maybe it's because she didn't know either but I would doubt that because she's pretty smart. Even though her oatmeal tastes like doggie doo. Am I boring you? I hope I'm not. It's just that I can't follow a defected map and you asked what I was doing and so I'm telling you and did I mention that I can't follow a defected map?? Wow you have a nice truck. It's blue, I like blue. Can you tell? That's my hair color and it's natural. Why did I tell you that? Because people deny that my hair is natural and it's something I take pride in. I won first place in the "Best Hair" category! I bet you knew that. My picture was all over the newspaper! Did I mention that I can't follow a defected map?

PDDS: What did I do to deserve this??

Horo Horo: Do you know how to fix my map? It's -

PDDS: Defected I know.

Horo Horo: WOW!! HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!!!!??????

PDDS: You told me.

Horo Horo: What are you talking about? I didn't tell you anything! I just got here remember?? *to self* This guy's a nut.

PDDS: You told me lots of stuff! Like how your sister Pilica's oatmeal tastes like doggie doo…

Horo Horo: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT??!! Are you stalking my sister??? *eyes PDDS evilly*

PDDS: No you told me!!

Horo Horo: Did not! *to self* Are Tokyo people always this nutty?

PDDS: Anyway… here's Tokyo… 

Horo Horo: Already??!!

PDDS: Well you were talking for like 10 hrs straight.

Horo Horo: Was not! I didn't say a word!

PDDS: *to self* Are people from the North always this crazy?

Horo Horo: I'm not crazy.

PDDS: *severe shock* HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID??!!

Horo Horo: Because the ghost of the Pepsi can you ran over yesterday told me.

PDDS: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

Horo Horo: Can you let me out here?

PDDS: *nod nod*

Horo Horo: Thanks! It was fun riding with you! ^_^

PDDS: Yeah… *drives off really, really fast*

~*Still, Still Later*~ 

Horo Horo: Ah, this looks like a nice spot to sell stuff. *sits* *sees person coming to look* HI! This is genuine folk craft that I made myself!! It's to bring you good luck and ward off bad spirits and all that hullabaloo. BUT! I have some extra special ones that can ward off constipation! You want one, I can see it in your eyes! It's the toilet shaped one there. Where did I get the shape from? It was inspired by a my toilet at home. Yes sir it was! I'm a pure genius I know! Don't worry! I'll be here for a while. Why? My map is defected and I can follow it. So I have to buy a new one and then try to follow it. But until I have more money I can buy one so I have to sell some of these craft thingies. Oh hi! Do you want to buy one of my genuine folk crafts? I made them myself.

Person: Yeah… I know…

Horo Horo: You did??!!

Person: ………. So this one is for Constipation? *points to toilet charm*

Horo Horo: Hey, you're good! Yeah it is, it was inspired by --

Person: Your toilet at home.

Horo Horo: WOAH!!!!!!! YOU CAN READ MY THOUGHTS TOO???!!!

Person: Umm… you told me… 

Horo Horo: I didn't tell you anything. You just got here.

Person: No I didn't. I was here for about an hour now.

Horo Horo: Wow… you're good at sneaking up then too! You've been watching me for a WHOLE hour!

Person: Anyway….

~*Still, Still, Still Later*~

Horo Horo: I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go! 

Person looking at stuff: ……

Horo Horo: NO SERIOUSLY!!! I GOTTA GO!!!!!!!

Person looking at stuff: …….

Horo Horo: Can't hold it… can't hold it… can't hold it…

Person looking at stuff: Maybe one on your charm thingies will help. Do you have one that will rid having to go?

Horo Horo: Umm… I don't think that one came in yet…

Person looking at stuff: Oh… 

Horo Horo: I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go! *runs and goes*

~*Still, Still, Still, Still Later*~

Horo Horo: *comes back* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! MY STUFF IS GONE!!!!!!! T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_TT_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T

~*Still, Still, Still, Still, Still Later*~

Police: Okay can you repeat that?

Horo Horo: *takes breath* I was coming to Tokyo to plant flowers but I couldn't follow my map because it was defected and so I asked this guy to help me and he let me ride with him to Tokyo. And I told him that I couldn't follow a defected map and he guessed all these things about me and it was scary it was like he was stalking me. But then I got to Tokyo and I started selling my stuff and some more people seemed to know what I was going to say. I guess all people are like that. But then I had to go really, really bad and so I started singing a song that went kinda like this I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. But then I couldn't hold it in, so I went. It was a number 2 you know! I was prairie dogging it for a while… I know that's nasty, you don't have to tell me that. So I went and I was immediately relieved but then when I got back… all my stuff was gone! T_T

Police: Yeah… *to other police man* Did you get all that?

Other Policeman: Umm… I only got that he was coming to Tokyo.

Police: *sigh* Can you repeat that again?

Horo Horo: I guess… but can you get it all this time? I'm tired of repeating it. 

Other Policeman: Well so am I? How many times is this now?

Police: *looks at counter* 120 times now.

Other Policeman: *groan*

__

To Be Continued…

I know that this seems utterly not complete but then I guess that it would just go to where he meets Yoh and them but, if I must, I'll try to continue it in another chapter… until then, read and review okay? ^___^


	4. Revenge With Tomatoes

Random Events from the Shaman King

Chapter Four

Revenge with Tomatoes

By: Eliv

Ren: When will I get my own chapter?

Eliv: Maybe… I'll let you have… does chapter 150 sound good?

Ren: You probably won't get that far.

Eliv: ……. So?

Ren: I'LL NEVER GET MY CHAPTER!!!

Eliv: Fine… but you had chapter one!

Ren: No my shorts did! T_T

Eliv: But I was going to give this chapter to Lyserg. He hasn't got one yet.

Ren: But….

Eliv: I'll give you…. The next one… _maybe_.

Ren: Okay… ^_^

__

In a land were Shamans live, one man, will herd a pack of tomatoes to unleash total destruction onto another man. That is our story:

Lyserg: I must get the tomatoes…. *sees tomatoes* ^_^

Revenge with Tomatoes (Including commentaries by Ren)

Lyserg: La la lalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaa~! I'm going to get some companions and then I'm going to kill Hao, with this!! *holds up lots of tomatoes* 

Merchant Guy: Wait a minute… What happened to my tomatoes??!!

Lyserg: Oops… gotta go!

Merchant Guy: Come back here! Gimme my tomatoes!!

Lyserg: *throws tomatoes in the air* Be free!! 

Tomatoes: *falls splat on Lyserg*

Lyserg: NOOOOOOO! You aren't supposed to attack me!!! *sees the red* I'm… bleeding… help me… GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAA!!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!!!! I'm bleeding to death!! Help me!! *crawls over to the feet of nearest person* I need help. 

Person: Uhh… you want a napkin?

Lyserg: Will a napkin heal me?

Person: Yeah?

Lyserg: Okay!!! *takes napkin*

(Ren: WAIT A MINUTE!! LYSERG WAS IN FRIGGIN CHAPTER 2!!!! YOU KNOW? "TALES FROM THE X-LAWS?!!" YOU'RE CHEATING ME OUT OF MY CHAPTER!! WHY DOES HE GET SO MANY??!!)

Person: No problem?

Lyserg: I'M SAVED!!! Now I just need more tomatoes…

Merchant Guy: Don't look at me.

Lyserg: *puppy dog eyes*

(Ren: That pitiful being. He's not worthy of another chapter. I would have beat the stoopid guy until he gave me more tomatoes.)

Merchant Guy: ……. Oh alright. Stop that!

(Ren: WHAT THE ----!!! THAT STOOPID TACTIC WORKED??!!)

Lyserg: Thank you! *takes tomatoes* Now I just have to find Hao's hideout…

~*Later*~

Lyserg: This must be it!!! 

Sign: Fluffy Kitties Parlor. 

Lyserg: I know it's not that place across the street.

Sign Across the Street: Hao's Pants Pub.

Lyserg: *looks at signs again* Yep. Hao's headquarters is definitely at the Fluffy Kitties Parlor. *walks in* *runs out very fast* WHOA!! I did not want to go there…. *walks very fast to Hao's Pants Pub*

(Ren: What was in there? I wanna know!!!)

Pub: *noisy*

Lyserg: Hello? Is Hao here? Anyone??

Pub: *noisy*

Lyserg: I really need to kill Hao with my tomatoes. Can anyone tell me where he is? 

Pub: *noisy*

Lyserg: Okay, I'll just find him somehow… *looks around*

Guard: Halt! This is Hao-sama's restricted area!

Lyserg: Oh, he can't possibly be there if it's restricted. Okay. *goes somewhere else*

Guard 2: Halt! This is Hao-sama's pants' restricted area!

Lyserg: Pants? I HAVE PANTS ON!!! ^_^

Guard 2: Well… he did say that anyone with pants were cool…

Lyserg: Can I go in then? ^_____^

Guard 2: I guess so… *lets Lyserg in*

(Ren: That guard is stoopid! GAA! This is not right!)

Lyserg: *sees Hao's pants on a pedestal* Wow… pants… *reaches out finger to touch the pants*

Des (rabid Hao's Pants fan-girl): STOP!!!! DO NOT TOUCH THE PANTS!!!!

Lyserg: I… can't help… it… they're soooooo… pretty!! 

*slow motion start*

Lyserg: *goes to touch pants*

Des: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyserg: *is about an millimeter away*

Des: *runs up in slow motion and grabs Hao's pants away from Lyserg's touch in time* Ha! *realizes what she's done* NOOOOOOOO!!! I HAVE TOUCHED HAO'S SACRED PANTS WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION!!!!! 

*end slow motion*

Lyserg: So?

Des: He'll… have his bunny eat me!!

Lyserg: Bunny?? I like bunnies!!!

Des: I must go and worship Hao-sama's pants so he won't feed me to his bunny! *runs off*

Lyserg: UUUUU!! Pants…

(Ren: Why does Hao get to be in this story? He was in… Chapter 2 too!! Not chapter tutu! Chapter 2... Forget it… Chapter 2 also, there we go! This isn't right! I expect to get a refund! …… WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T GET PAID!! OH SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE!!!!!)

Hao: DON'T TOUCH MY PANTS!!!!!

Lyserg: IT'S HAO!!!!!! DIEIEIEIEIEIEEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!!!!!!

Hao: What?

Lyserg: DIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEEIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!!!!

Hao: okay…. 

Lyserg: Wait… you said… AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *covers eyes* YOU'RE NOT WEARING YOUR PANTS!!!!!!!!

Hao: …….. So? 

Lyserg: ……………. MY EYES!!!!!!

Hao: What? I'm wearing shorts…

Rabid Hao Fan-girls: *sigh dreamily*

Lyserg: Put on your pants!

Hao: But I don't wanna!

Lyserg: Do it!

Hao: But I don't wanna!

Lyserg: DO IT!

Hao: I DON'T WANNA!!!

Lyserg: THEN DIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEEIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!

Hao: But I don't wanna die!

Lyserg: *starts pelting Hao with tomatoes* TAKE THIS AND THAT YOU EVIL FEIND!!

Hao: GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I'M BLEEDING!!!!!!!!

Lyserg: Oh Yeah!

Hao: Two can play that game! *grabs bologna* TAKE THIS AND THAT YOU EVIL PANTS TOUCHER!!!!!!

Lyserg: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE ……. BOLOGNA OF DEATH!!!!!! *grabs spaghetti* TAKE THIS!!!!!!

Hao: *ducks* I LOST MY POOR MEATBALL BECAUSE YOU SNEEZED!!!!!!

Lyserg: I didn't sneeze!

Hao: Yes you did!

Lyserg: DID NOT!!!

*food fight continues*

__

To Be Continued

I know this chapter- along with the one before it- seem utterly unfinished… but oh well. Basically, they have a food fight and then there's some kind of outcome that you can make up and imagine happened. Okay, so… Read and Review and stay tuned for Chapter 5!


	5. Goldfish, Pig Latin and 27 Minutes

Random Events from the Shaman King Dub

**Chapter Five**

Tale of Goldfish, Pig Latin, and 27 Minutes

* * *

At Hao's Mansion Castle 

Mati: Must...resist...twirly fingers around long strands of his bangs...

Anna: I MADE CHOCOLATE SWIRL COFFEE CAKE FOR DESSERT TODAY! It looks good! The cake not Hao's bangs.

Mati: Well, I think he looks good XD

Jeanne: (pours glaze from coffee cake into cup and drinks it)

Yoh: (eavesdropping; to Hao) Mati just said that she thinks you look good enough to eat!

Hao: (panicy) OMG SHE'S GONNA EAT ME... FOR DESSERT!

Yoh: Why dessert?

Hao: ... because I'm sweet...

Mati: (eavesdropping on them; sweatdrop) Anna... (hand gesture to tell her to come over to where she is to be nosey too)

Anna: o.o (crawls over) YOU MADE ME CRAWL ALL THE WAY OVER HERE JUST TO SHOW ME A PICTURE OF HAO OFF OF EBAY!

Hao: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE TAKING PICTURES OF ME AND SELLING THEM ON EBAY!

Yoh: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE SELLING PICTURES OF HIM ON EBAY!

Anna/Yoh/Hao: EBAY!

Mati: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (covers her mouth; is discovered) DARN YOUR BIG MOUTH ANNA! I WANTED YOU TO HELP ME EAVESDROP! AND WHY WOULD I SELL THEM?

Hao: ... because I have fangirls all over the world...

Yoh: And because he's sweet!

Mati: I'm trying to kill the fangirls, not give them hott pictures...

* * *

Somewhere Over the Rainbow at a Hospital 

Ashil: (at the hospital making a speedy recovery; on Ebay) OMGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD! HAO-SAMA PICTURES ON EBAY!

Back at the Mansion Castle… thing

* * *

Hao: Which reminds me... AHHHHH! YOU'RE GOING TO EAT ME FOR DESSERT! 

Yoh: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mati: (sweatdrop) why would I eat you...?

Hao: Because I'm sweet

Yoh: Yeah because he's sweet

Jeanne: Sweet? Like coffee cake glaze?

Yoh: Exactly!

Jeanne: (eyes Hao)

Mati: (o.O to Yoh) how would you know he's sweet...

Yoh: Because he said so

Mati: oh...okay!

Hao: Yeah because I said so

Anna: This conversation is going... nowhere

Mati: well, I'm not going to eat him cause that would be weird considering I never let anyone eat him before... o.O

Jeanne: (knawing on his leg)

Lyserg: (flies in by swinging pendulum above his head) HAOOOOOO FIRST YOU STEAL THE SPIRIT OF FIRE FROM ME AND NOW YOU'RE STEALING JEANNE-SAMA!

Hao: ignoring him completely ... so you're not going to eat me for dessert?

Mati: NO

Yoh: you're not going to eat him for dessert?

Mati: -.- No, I am NOT… yet.

Hao: (to Yoh) She's probably saving me for breakfast... I'm sweet like a blueberry scone!

Lyserg: Blueberry scone… (eyes Hao)

Yoh: Yeah she's probably saving you for breakfast... because you're sweet like a blueberry scone!

Anna: (shows Mati a picture of Hao)

Mati: HAO!

Hao: yes?

Mati: nothing

Hao: (to Yoh) She's plotting...

Mati: o.O

Yoh: Yeah I can see it in her nose...

Anna: (joins circle) What's in her nose?

Mati: what the...

Yoh: Her plotting

Anna: (looks) Ah okay

Lyserg: (up until now was knawing on Hao's leg) Oh yup. See? It's hanging out of her nose just a little bit on that side there.

Hao: Oh I can see it too... the evil plotting...

Yoh/Hao/Anna: (all look at Mati)

Mati: -.-+ ... WOULD YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Hao: Umm... you have an evil plotting in your nose...

Yoh: THE PLOTTING!

Mati: (runs to mirror) I DO NOT! (flicks booger) -.- Yoh, quit influencing your brother

Yoh: the plotting...

Mati: -.- Anna, whack him for me

Hao: (jumps into rolly chair) I SHALL TRAVEL THE WORLD IN 30 MINUTES! ZOOOOOM

Anna: ... (whacks Yoh very softly)

Mati: -.-'' thank you anyways... OO! I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD TOO!

Yoh: (jumps into rolly chair with Hao) 30 MINUTES

Mati: (screeches to stop) o.o I'VE GOT TO GET A PICTURE OF THIS!

Anna: (jumps on Yoh's head) 29 MINUTES!

Mati: ANNA! YOU RUINED IT!

Rolly Chair: (crashes into counter)

Mati: (sweatdrop) everyone okay?

Anna: 28... minutes...

Yoh: (jumps onto counter) I'M A... PIG LATIN

Hao: (jumps in sink) GOLDFISH! (starts splashing in the sink)

Yoh: I AM PIG LATIN I AM PIG LATIN

Mati: Anna, what are you?

Anna: I AM 27 MINUTES

Mati: (looks at watch) Yea, I guess so...

Hao: GOLDFISH GOLDFISH

Mati: What does that make me?

Yoh/Anna/Hao: (looks at Mati)

Mati: ...

Hao: RIDE THE WAGON OF 27 MINUTES!

Anna: RIDE THE WAGON OF 27 MINUTES!

Yoh: RIDE THE WAGON OF 27 MINUTES

Mati: o.o''' that sounds wrong

Hao: (pushes Mati in rolly chair)

Mati: o.O (falls in rolly chair) O.o now what?

Anna: (pushes the rolly chair)

Yoh: (stands in front of it) I AM LORD PIG LATIN!

Mati: ah...AHHH! (crashed into Yoh)

Anna: 27 MINUTES DEMANDS A STORY TELLING!

Yoh/Hao: (sit on carpet)

Anna: (sits in chair) Once upon a time, there was a papa bear, mama bear, and a baby bear and then they all got eaten in 27 minutes

Yoh/Hao: (cheers)

Anna: (eats book)

Mati: (holding head geez) Yoh, I think I've figured out why nothing goes through your head... now I have a headache

Anna: (finishes eating book and wipes mouth with napkin)

Hao: GOLDFISH DEMAND... SUSHI!

Yoh: I AM PIG LATIN AND I SAY THAT YOU ARE A CANNON BALL!

Hao: OO NO THE DREADED CANNON BALL!

Mati: ow my head...

Anna/Hao/Yoh: (looks at Mati)

Yoh: I FOUND SUSHI! (takes out sushi tray)

Anna/Hao/Yoh: (eat)

Sushi Lable: Oyster Sushi

Mati: oh god... (hides all medication)

Hao: (sees Mati) Why... hello... (smooths hair) Come here often?

Mati: (sweatdrop) sorry, I'm in love with the normal you...who acts like that a little more often than I'd like to admit...

Hao: so... is that a no to Goldfish?

Mati: (pats him on the back) I'm sorry...

Yoh: (dances around with a bowl on his head) PIG LATIN PIG LATIN

Anna: (dances around with a cup on her head) 27 MINTUES 27 MINUTES!

Mati: o.O didn't they eat the oyster sushi too?

Hao: (crawls over to Jeanne does the yawn/stretch thing)

Marco: (touches Hao's shoulder)

Hao: (shoulder melts off; screams in agony in the background)

Lyserg: (beats the crap out of Marco and throws him into a gladiator cage)

Hao: (fills the cage with frost bitten alligators)

Mati: shouldn't Anna and Yoh be like, all over each other!

Yoh: Candy shop? YEAH LET'S GO TO THE CANDY SHOP! (grabs Anna's arm and drags her out)

Anna: YAY CANDY!

Hao: (eyes Tamao seductively)

Tamao: OO Meep.

Mati: STAY TOGETHER YOU TWO! BUDDY SYSTEM!

Hao: (purrs)

Mati: (rolls eyes)

Anna/Yoh: (come back from the candy shop)

Yoh: (hands Anna a lollypop) Do you want to lick my lolly pop?

Horo: (around the corner) WHAT! NO DON'T DO IT! AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC!

Hao: I have a lollypop too... (takes a lollypop out of his pocket) Would you like to lick it? It's strawberry!

Yoh: (walks in) oh hey! Anna has my lollypop!

Anna: It's good!

Mati: (major sweatdrop) No thanks...I'm not a big fan of strawberry...

Anna: (still licking lollypop)

Yoh: (watching)

Anna: Here why don't you have a lick?

Yoh: Okay!

Hao: (licks his lollypop) Are you sure you don't want some?

Anna/Yoh: (leave)

Ashil: (comes flying in on an onion ring) I WILL LICK YOUR LOLLY POP HAO-SAMA!

Hao: (casually tries to put his arm around Manta's shoulders)

Manta: Uhhh… Yoh-kun? Is this normal?

Yoh: (suddenly there) Yes. Just let him and eventually he'll get bored and drink pancake syrup.

Manta: Uhh.. okay…

Ashil: NO HAO-SAMA! PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR AFFECTION!

Everyone: … and why are you still alive?

Ashil: (jumps up on table) I'M INVINSIBLE!

Lyserg: You're a looney. Killing you was the one thing Marco did right!

Marco: (trapped inside a gladiator cage with frost bitten alligators) YAY I DID SOMETHING RIGHT!

Ashil: That's not true. Hao-sama loves me! I bought his pictures on Ebay!

Hao: I KNEW IT!

Mati: THAT WASN'T ME! Okay yeah it was… but at least I made tons of money!

Ashil: (laughs his evil girly laugh)

Ren: That's worse than my dub laugh!

Yoh: HE'S LIKE A ROACH! HE WON'T DIE!

Anna: I have a secret weapon when dealing with roaches. (pulls out vaccum cleaner) TAKE THIS! (runs around chasing Ashil)

Narrator: And eventually they all got tired, collapsed, set the house on fire, killed Ashil again and lived happily ever after.

- To Be Continued -

* * *

YAY I FINALLY UPDATED AFTER THE LONGEST TIME! But since these events are slowly turning into non-dub events, I'm thinking of changing the title of the story. Anyway, this chapter was based on a RP with Ookami XD So yeah. R&R and all that jazz. 


End file.
